Let's just say I should definitely never work in a business where the product is food. I have found I enjoy baking somethings and decorating them as well. The problem here would be having access to baked goods. I made a birthday cake and decided to get all Martha Stewart about it. It was a double layered dark chocolate fudge cake with homemade frosting. If you have ever made a double layered cake you can imagine what the problem was...that's right, after sawing off the top of the cakes to make the cake even, I was left with pieces of cake that when folded over with a sampling of the homemade frosting resembled Hostess Suzie Q's. Well who's going to turn down that pretty sight! Apparently not me today. Before I realized it, I had eaten most of the sacrificed slices of cake with some frosting.
I am seriously considering going to the psychiatrist for my obsessive compulsive disorder (my own diagnosis) when it comes to food. There has to be some kind of medication for this. I had an otherwise good day with eating. Cereal for breakfast as I was too tired to mess with eggs, two leftover pieces of whole wheat pizza and some fruit/cottage cheese for lunch. For dinner I tried to compromise some and instead of getting the 1/2 rack of bbq ribs, I got a buffalo chicken salad. Oh and we had spinach artichoke dip and chips for an appetizer. If I've not indicated it before, I have given up soda pop so I drink water 99% of the time (there are occassions where I still like to have some pepsi).
And that is just the food part. Recently I have reconnected with my ex husband. It has been a struggle to not be physically intimate with him as I have decided to wait for marriage. We had a date tonight and it was amazing! A nice dinner, music, candlelight, talking, a girls dream night come true. Then it happened. A kiss lingered, then grew more passionate, then more "energized" and the next thing I knew we were in quite a position (fully clothed, but nonetheless). BASEBALL!!!!!! (that's our code word for "time to step away from the kissing becuase if we're not careful we'll go all the way to home plate"). I called baseball and then a split second later was back on 1 st base. Got to second before it got called again. I slinked off base and cried. God has amazing plans for me in my life, this area included. But I have to play by his rules to get the most out of it- if I don't I'm just cheating myself and losing something divinely created and planned. My heart sank as I realized, I just behaved in a way I regret and that is not God's plan for me. He does not want me to put myself in situations that I regret and that will hurt my heart. He has something better in store for me and I deserve that.
So far this weekend has highlighted areas of struggle for me that I need to seek God on. 1) baking- like doing it and enjoy the hobby, but can't control myself when the product is finished. 2) seeing weekend as a time to splurge and not be as diligent with food I eat. 3) playing baseball is fine as long as I never leave or go further than 1st base.
Good news for the day- I had an amazing evening with my God and my man. Thank you to Michael W. Smith for using your God given talent and singing to our hearts with God's music to reach our souls. God is amazing and working miracles all around us- if you don't believe, go look in the mirror, or outside, or in your childs eyes. He is here, are your inviting him in?
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