24 hours down!

Tonight was another victory. If it wasn't for my fear that this won't last, I would be happier. Perhaps now is the time to be thankful for my blessing that the first 24 is over and God is keeping me with a humble heart.

Dinner was good, I did eat everything on my plate, but I started out with less food on my plate than usual. Here's what I noticed...As I'm sitting with a plate mostly full of food (one bratwurst-grant it not the best, but...-, homemade mac'n'cheese- less fat and high fiber pasta-, mixed greens salad with grape tomatoes, and brocoli/ cauliflower mix) I found myself starting to worry somewhat anxiously about this being all the food I was going to eat. I know, how selfish. How can someone look at that much food (and it was a lot) and worry about that being all they were going to eat. My brain was focused on what I wasn't going to get instead of what I had right in front of me.

Let's say that one more time...I was focused more on what I was going to miss rather than focusing on all that was before me.

wow. God please give me a eyes, ears, mind, body, soul and heart to appreciate what I have. Give me a heart to see how full my life is.

Earlier today I was meeting with a young lady I have known for about four years. I am especially fond of this young lady and she sparks in me my mother's extinct. We were discussing her plans for college and looking at classes she wants to take when she asked me if I had children. I told her no and she proceeded to ask why not...My heart both smiled and shed a tear as I thought of how best to answer her. "No...it just hasn't been in the cards for me as of yet...maybe someday...you never know". It just didn't feel right to admit that yes, I have children. Two beautiful babies await me with Our Father at their side. And while I've never met them, we will know one another intimately when the time comes and we are face to face. For now I live knowing in my heart I am a mother to two someone specials and have been blessed with the opportunity to share my motherly love with the kids I've been blessed to know and serve. I pray that someday I can believe myself in my heart when I talk about these blessings.

Again, I pray for God to change my heart so that I may count only my blessings and focus only on these things given to me by the Grace of God.

In the meantime, must remember there is no hope in the mint chocolate chip or mocha almond fudge ice cream that sits in the freezer. Hope that my hope in the Lord will crush that craving!