Cry out

I find myself at the end of a very busy week stressed and looking forward to normalcy. Of course I realize that normal is only a city in Illinois, but I am looking forward to my sense of normalcy. A week with no time off if you can believe it.

I have a deep appreciation for routine, schedules, and stability. Growing up in an environment where moods changed with the blink of an eye, I grew to dislike and learned to avoid changes. That is obviously a very silly attempt on my part since change is inevitable and a part of life whether we choose it or not. Accepting change seems to go against my nature none-the-less and I find myself stressed and frustrated over things I can not change this morning.

I can feel the tension in my neck start to build like an icy-pop starting to freeze in it's little tube. The blood is getting slushed up and I can feel it getting tighter and tighter as it pumps through the blood vessels running up the back right side of my brain. Dry tears are pushing at the corners of my eyes with no sense of relief in sight, just the annoying toddler feeling of wanting to stomp my feet and pull my hair creeping up. I envision myself having a good old fit on the floor pretty soon. But the floor is dirty and that is a whole other story. Oh, and did I mention that I am PMS'ing? Fun!

Time to give it to God. Because if I don't, I will carry it with me through the day. And God's light can shine through if I'm fogging up the windows with my bad attitude.

God, you know that your name is my "Abba". You God are my dad, not just in heaven, but here with me as well. God I need your arms around me this morning. I'm tired, frustrated, irritable, stressed and worried about things that I have very little control over. Okay, being honest, I have no control over them. But I do get to control myself. I do get to control what I can. Lord, if this sense of needing to cry is of you, I pray that you allow the tears to flow so I might have some relief. Give me peace and hope Lord as I go through my day and provide for me what I need, emotionally. In Jesus name, Amen.